Whenever you unwillingly said goodbye

Silence greeted me at the door.

or did it?

because when i checked your pulse and felt no beat against my pale yet shaken hand

the world had stopped

rushes of emotion flooded my adolescent mind

had the grief begun?

silence.

when i sat with you in room 203 in a leather seating all for hours on end watching you suffer

watching you worry

watching you look up at me for reassurance

I started aching too.

Is that when the grieving started?

I don’t think so.

Maybe for you as my reader grief met you in a hospital room and if it had im sorry.

But for me final memories were cherished.

final memories had been made.

I’m not sure when the grief hit me.

Maybe it was when you first had gotten sick,

Maybe it was when I told the family surrounding the two of us that you were indeed laying lifeless in your bed?

I’m not sure.

what i do know is that

I wouldn’t trade a single moment I had spent by your side, holding your hand, feeding you… trimming your nails, your hair, loving you.

what i do know is that

it gets better, but grief will never say goodbye.