I’m Serenity Hicks and I like to write.

This is about promises I made to people that I hold close to my heart when things got really bad. I’m going to dedicate this to my old friend Avery Hassabrock at my old school, we got really close when I was going through a rough time my sophomore year and then we got even closer. When things got really bad in December she was scared that she was going to lose me so she kept in touch with me while I was in the hospital and helped me through everything I went through.

When my readers read this I want them to feel the weight of pressure that comes from promising people you love that you’re doing better. I also want them to think that mental health struggles can change quickly, even when someone is trying their best, that people who are recovering often feel pressure to appear okay so they don’t worry others, and that recovery is not a straight line- it’s something people work at every day.

The Pressure of Promises
December still follows me
Like a shadow in winter.

I remember the quiet days-
How the air felt heavier
And every thought
Moved like it was sinking.

I told the people I love
That I was better now.
I promised them
I wouldn’t fall back there again.

And I meant it.

But my mind moves like weather-
Clear skies one moments,
Dark clouds the next,
Storms I can’t always predict.

Some days I feel steady,
Like I’m finally learning
How to breathe again.

Other days I feel the pull
Of the same cold place
Waiting somewhere behind me.

That’s when the pressure starts.

Because it isn’t just my fight now-
It’s the promise I made
To the people who stayed
When December almost swallowed me whole.

So I hold on tighter
To every better moment,
Trying to stay balanced
While the sky inside me changes.

Because the hardest part
Isn’t remembering December-

It’s carrying the promise
That I won’t let it take me
Back there again.

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